


No Help Needed and No Help Wanted

by Kafrazel



Category: South Park
Genre: Anxiety, Child Neglect, Cutting, Eventual Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Middle School, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 14:03:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10968738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kafrazel/pseuds/Kafrazel
Summary: Tweek is a jittery kid that hates pressure. It builds up over time and Tweek later develops an unhealthy habit that leaves scars across his arms and legs. Although he learns to find an interesting way to cover them up his secret is found by an uncaring kid by the name of Craig Tucker.





	1. I Don't Do This Often

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my first fanfic. Later on in the chapters I plan to include self-harm so please be weary of this. This first chapter is mostly just an introduction but darker stuff is soon to come!

Tweek was leaning over the counter. Both of his elbows were firmly supporting his weight while he was desperately picking at any cuticles on the skin of his fingers. The day was as uneventful as always. He got some of the usual customers, the ones who stay for hours working on laptops and studying and the busy business people who couldn’t function without their morning cup of coffee, those were the people he could relate to the most to. But those people probably weren’t as obsessed with coffee as Tweek was. Tweek would make up to three cups of large coffee for himself every day. He knew it wasn’t healthy but he really didn’t care about how coffee might affect his growth. The alternative to not having coffee was an extremely fidgety Tweek that whispered all of his worries into the palms of his hands, while harshly biting his lips off. A Tweek without coffee wasn’t an option.

Tweek lifted his head to see the clock hung up on the wall of the shop. Just a few more hours to go and then he could go home. Tweek pushed away from the counter to fix himself another cup of coffee. As Tweek headed towards the back where the coffee machines were, the strong aroma of unground coffee beans became stronger as he kept walking. He loved the scent. He was glad that he could breathe it in all the time. The smell of coffee was never overly sweet. Tweek hated things that were covered in layers of sugar, he always found it disgusting. Coffee was just a pleasant pinch on the cheek. Just breathing in the scent made Tweek feel more awake.

When he got to the coffee machine he began to work his magic. When he was making the drinks at the coffee shop he didn’t really have to think. All the recipes for each cup of coffee was permanently imprinted in his brain. He just got to think, which was nice. Although Tweek’s job was stressful at times (mostly because of the expectations his parents put on him) he was able to just enjoy the pleasant scent of coffee. When he had finished he put a cardboard sleeve on the cup and held it with both hands. The pleasant heat from the coffee was enough to warm the palms of Tweek’s cold hands. Tweek cautiously walked back to the counter, he was used to bringing scolding hot coffee across the floors but he was still afraid to spill it. He set the coffee gently on the counter and continued to wait for customers.

The pleasant ring of the bell above the door echoed in his ears. Tweek lifted his head from the counter to the new customer. It was a kid from his school. That Tucker kid, that Tweek was never too close with. They talked occasionally but they were never really friends just… acquaintances. Tweak began with his standard greeting.

“Welcome to Tweak Bros, what can I get you?” He was so used to saying it that he rarely stuttered anymore when he greeted his customers.

The kid walked up to the counter. His face didn’t express much emotion, Tweek had remembered that it was kind of his thing to not give a shit.

“Hey…” He started. “Can I just get a regular coffee, I don’t do this shit often so just a normal coffee… I guess.” Tweek sighed.

“What s-size.” Tweek said with another tic.

“Medium.”

Tweek made his way away from the counter to go make a “regular coffee”. He quietly mumbled an ‘ok’ as he was walking. Tweek put a bit too much thought in Craig’s term: regular coffee. To Tweek there was nothing ‘regular’ about coffee. It was the very thing that kept him sane and kept him grounded with society. Coffee is what made Tweek almost forget he wasn’t normal. So Craig really didn’t know much about coffee.

When Tweek made it to the shop’s coffee machine he grabbed a medium-sized cup and set it on the counter that was sprinkled with coffee grounds. Tweek paused. This was one of the only times he had to put ‘thought’ into an order. What was a “regular coffee”? Tweek started with disposing of the already used coffee grounds. Tweek put fresh grounds into the filter and paused. Goddammit, could Craig have been any more specific?

Tweek just started the coffee machine. The coffee was pouring into the cup. Tweek loved the sound. He loved everything about making coffee. Everything just always felt so perfect. Tweek just felt so in-control. Tweek then reached for some plain creamer and some real sugar. Tweek didn’t know if Craig wanted sugar-free but he honestly didn’t think Craig cared. From what Tweek has seen from Craig is that Craig gives no fucks to anyone or anything around him. So Tweek had a feeling that he didn’t need to ask Craig about his sugar preferences.

Once the coffee finished it’s last drips into the cup Tweek began to add the sugar and creamer. He had hoped that this is what Craig wanted. Even though Tweek shouldn’t feel the need to impress anyone with his coffee, he just felt like Craig needed a good impression of coffee, since Craig said he didn’t have it much.

Tweek saw Craig sitting alone at one of the two-person tables. Tweek walked over holding Craig’s coffee with shaking hands. Sometimes Tweek worried that he might break the cups he was holding because of how tight he gripped them. He set the coffee on the table in front of Craig and quickly scampered off to hide in the back of the café. Tweek peeked around the corner of the wall that concealed the majority of him. Craig grasped the cup with both of his hands. He brought it up closer to his lips. Craig paused, letting the steam from the cup rise up towards his face. He then began to take a sip. Craig looked down at his cup and gave a small, genuine, smile. Tweek pulled is head back behind the wall and sighed. He liked it. Craig Tucker liked the coffee that a spaz like Tweek had made.

Tweek felt accomplished for once, for making a cup of coffee that a cool kid seemed to enjoy. Tweek didn’t know why he really cared that much, it was just a cup of coffee. Tweek returned to the counter, he didn’t want to miss any new customers. When he came back Craig was still sitting down at the table. He was surprised that Craig hadn’t gotten up and left already. It was kind of weird for Tweek having to see Craig drink his cup of coffee and pretend not to care. Tweek had to try to look in other areas of the café.

Craig really took his sweet time with drinking the cup. He was… savoring it? Finally Craig had finished and he threw the empty cup in the trash. He walked up back to the counter towards Tweek.

“How much do I need to give you?”

Tweek lifted his head up slightly and gave Craig a slightly confused look. “W-What?”

“How much do I need to pay you?” Craig restated.

Tweek shook his head slightly as the sudden realization kicked in. Duh. “O-Oh” Tweek said in a slightly shocked tone, as if this was new information to him.

Tweek looked away slightly and returned his gaze back to Craig.

“One dollar a-and 50 cents” Tweek said. His eyes shifted downward towards the surface of the counter. Craig began digging around in the pockets of his blue jacket. He pulled out and handful of unsorted dollar bills and coins. He brought the currency closer to his face and began to arrange the currency. He put the money on the table and shoved the rest of the money back into the depths of his lint-filled pockets. Tweek put his palm on the money and slid the clump towards him while his other hand was opening the cash-register. Tweek put the money in their designated sections. Tweek had his head fixated down at the register, his eyes peering up to see Craig walking towards the exit, so calm.

Tweek looked back at the clock, 9pm – closing time.

He realized how empty the shop was, he was surprised that he didn’t even notice anyone leave. Tweek was partially glad that he didn’t have to deal with social confrontation by telling all of the late studiers leave. Craig was the last person in the coffee shop.

Tweek let out a much needed sigh. He began stacking all of the light wooden chairs on top of the much darker wooden tables. Tweek then headed to the back of the store to the staff room and picked up the broom that was hung up on the wall by a plastic clasp of some sort. It firmly held the broom to the wall and Tweek pried it from the clutches of the clasp. As Tweek was sleeping the floors of the front of the shop he couldn’t help but feel accomplished in some way. He was never really close to Craig. There was one time where they had to fight each other at school while they were in Mr. Adler’s class. Something about Craig talking shit about him. Other than that they never really had any sort of bond. They were just mild-acquaintances.

Tweek turned the lights down and wiped the counters, he spent extra time on trying to clean the counter that had the coffee machines. He nearly had a heart attack when he saw all the coffee grounds in the dark. For a few seconds he thought that they were swarms of ants that had come to eat him in his sleep, but they were just the aftermath of weeks of grinding coffee. Just to ease his anxiety he cleaned the counter with the lights on.

Tweek went towards the backroom where he set his backpack down afterschool. He slugged it over both of his shoulders. It was so heavy, it was packed fully with textbooks, several scattered pencils with teeth marks that peppered the wood, and all of his doodle filled notebooks.

He allways found it difficult to pay attention in his classes so he adopted the habit of doodling in the margins of his notebook pages. Often times they were of alien-spaceships, vicious depictions of the underpants gnomes and coffee-so much coffee. All of these things found their way into the deep depths of his mind where they stayed, tucked away only for a kid like Tweek to think about. Tweek sometimes worried that the underpants gnomes would search his backpack while he was sleeping and figure out he knew about all of their mischievous plans and he would end up 6 feet under the surface of the ground lost in the mountains in Colorado. Tweek shuddered at the thought.

He clutched the shop’s keys tightly in his hands and then locked the front entrance, then he made his way to the backdoor and firmly locked it and sighed. For some reason Tweek always lingered after locking the backdoor. There was no reason to, but he somehow always found himself reflecting on the day. Then his thoughts rewound to thinking about Craig and how genuinely happy he seemed as he sipped the coffee Tweek had made. Tweek didn’t hang around him much but when he saw him in the school hallways his face never expressed any emotion. He never really gave a damn about anything. Tweek admired that trait from a distance. The thought of not caring about something was a reality that was way too far from possible for Tweek. Seeing Craig show such bliss at something so simple made Tweek smile. He was probably just over thinking Craig’s reaction.

Tweek began to finally move his feet to begin his quiet walk to his house. He was always cautious when he was walking. Everynight he made sure to be fully aware of the dark spaces of alleys he passed by. He took big strides to his house, he allways feared that something was ready to snatch him. He clutched the backpack straps that wrapped around his shoulders and to his back in a tight grip, as if the backpack was the only thing that could keep him safe. In reality if there was an abductor that was about to get Tweek the backpack wouldn’t all of a sudden become sentient and start beating the shit out of everything. It was a nice thought though.

Tweek walked up to the front door of his house. He fumbled around in his pockets until he was able to grab the spare keys his parents only sometimes let him borrow - fearing the boy would lose them. When he pushed the door open the sound of the door creaking broke the silence that filled his home. Tweek assumed his parents were sleeping.

He walked up the stairs and threw himself at his bed. His hands immediately clutched the sheets, face buried within the soft fabric. He slipped off his shoes and changed into his pj’s . Back against his mattress and his comforter on top of him, surrounding him in a heatless hug he lay there staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. Tomorrow was another day. Tweek forcefully shut his eyes and turned to his side and after a while he let the feeling of sleep take over and he began to fall deep into sleep.


	2. Water Faucets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Garrison tells Tweek that he can't doodle anymore and leads him into a freak out in the bathroom where he is met by a familiar form in a blue chullo hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry I wanted to update this sooner but I hope that I made up for it with a longer chapter. I had a really fun time writing this and I hope you enjoy!  
>  Oh! Sorry for any misspells, I din't thoroughly check this like I should of so sorry in advance.

A few days after Tweek’s encounter with Craig he found himself sitting in class doodling in his notebook. Mr. Garrison was going on about one of his completely unrelated lectures about stupid celebrities. Tweek had never even heard about any of the ones he talked about. He just didn’t pay attention to the media, too busy working. 

Today was slightly different. Towards the end of class Mr. Garrison decided that it would be good to have notebook checks. This confused Tweek because it seemed so unlike Mr. Garrison to care about what his students write down. He just suspected that the school board made it a new requirement or something. 

Tweek began to twitch sporadically. He panicked. He only had a few bullet points on his paper, the rest of his notebook was filled with stupid doodles that made him look insane (Well Tweek was slightly mental but he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he wasn’t imagining the underpants gnomes). He was so stressed out. He tried to replay the lecture in his head but couldn’t remember a damn thing. It was all just muffled gibberish that was blurred in his mind.

Mr Garrison was calling students one by one, making them walk up to him and show him their notebooks while he sat in his chair. Every time he said a name it was like a deafening gunshot in Tweek’s ears. He was in line for death row and there was no escaping. Tweek was relentlessly biting down on his pencil trying to scrape the most amount of information he could find about the lecture from the mess that was his brain. 

“Tweek” Mr. Garrison said.

Tweek had a small thought in the back of his mind that Mr. Garrison knew that Tweek rarely paid attention. Well he tried to but most of the time he spent in class was turned into a collage of doodles in his notebook. Welp all that time spent doodling came to bite him in the ass. 

He gulped and grabbed his notebook, clutching the sides of it tightly, shaking as he took small steps towards Mr. Garrison’s desk. 

“Tweek hurry up I don’t have all day.” His teacher said with annoyance.

“Nng!” was all Tweek managed to say in response. He quickened his pace and when he made it to Mr. Garrison’s desk, with hesitation he gently put the notebook in front of him. 

He stood there, for some reason gravity felt so heavy on his tiny body and he tensed up due to the lack of response.

Mr. Garrison stared at the piece of disorganized papers that was just handed to him. His face said anything but pleased. Tweek started to cave in on himself. 

His teacher looked up at Tweek. He saw how his face shifted from displeased to straight up furious.

“Tweek what the fuck is this?”  
“It’s m-my notes” He stammered. Tweek lowered his head, his breathing began to falter. His heart was aching and was pinched inside his rib cage. He felt like he was slipping away but he knew he was fully grounded.

“YOU WROTE TWO FUCKING THINGS!” Mr. Garrison snapped. 

Tweek’s eyes were still bolted to the floor, he refused to see his teacher’s face. He started to tune out his angry lecture, the words dissipated into a loud ringing in his ears. His hands were clutched and balled up into fists at his sides. He just wanted to be swallowed by the floor and not have to deal with the pressure. 

Mr. Garrison’s voice cut into the ringing that bounced off the walls inside Tweek’s eardrums. 

“NO MORE OF THIS CAVEMAN WALL ART IN YOUR NOTEBOOK OR ELSE I’LL BRING YOUR GRADE DOWN TO AN F, YOU GOT THAT MOTHERFUCKER?!”

Tweek could hear Mr. Garrisons words loud and clear. They echoed in his mind and left imprints on the walls. Tweek knew that his grade would be dropped down to an F either way. Doodling in his notebook would piss Mr. Garrison off and not doodling would cause Tweek to fail his class. He wouldn’t be able to survive without all of the convoluted marks on his paper. They captured the very essence of his thoughts and his pen was the printer that copied them on paper. They showed all the things that haunted his mind.

Tweek nodded, it was very small and defeated and looked more like a twitch in his neck and with shame he picked the notebook and held it tightly to his chest. He slowly made his way back to his desk, each step was careful, like he was walking on a tightrope, suspended millions of feet in the air. His eyes were still pierced to the floor and he could feel Mr. Garrison’s eyes crawling all over his back. He hated this. 

When he made it to his desk he stuffed the notebook into the back and fiddled with the zipper. His hands were shaky and it was difficult to drag the zipper across it’s opening. It didn’t help that he could feel the tension and anger radiating off of Mr. Garrison. Tweek eventually gave up and settled with a barely closed backpack. He hiked it up his shoulders and bolted out of the room. 

He steps were heavy and kept him on an undisturbed route to his locker. Each thud echoed in the halls, and only got louder in Tweek’s mind when he got closer towards his destination. Why was it that big of a deal? Mr. Garrison just asked him to stop doodling, why is he giving such an overreaction. It was stupid really, and Tweek knew this. A normal person would just accept that they can’t partake in a meaningless habit. Well to Tweek it mattered. For some reason the sense of creating shapes on the pages brought peace in an environment that held loud chatter and the constant shuffles and squeaks that filled the room. When created those images they somehow blocked out all of the chaos and stress that made him freak out. 

Tweek stopped in front of his locker and stared at the slits that were on the opening of his locker. The ringing started again. He didn’t know if he was accepting it’s welcome or hating it. He sighed, and started to freeze up slightly when he realized he couldn’t hear himself above the ringing. He decided to attempt to ignore it and just focus on opening his locker. 

His shaking hands cupped the lock and he began twisting the knob in a mesmerized pattern. What still bothered Tweek was when he couldn’t hear the clinking of metal as he was entering his combination. It made him shake even more and the ringing didn’t falter. Tweek covered his ears in hopes that would stop the sound. It did nothing. He pressed harder at the sides of his head, in hopes that would lessen it. To no avail he simply just dropped his hands from the his ears and continued with his locker. 

When he felt the click of the lock being opened his swung the door open and shoved his backpack inside and followed it with a slam. He was hoping that the sudden barrage of sound would wake up his senses. Nothing. He then headed towards the cafeteria. As he walked he could see everyone move out of his way and he saw all of their faces that showed concern and worry for his behavior. Tweek didn’t care. All of his desperate acts of attention were just the attempts to get rid of the loud chimes in his head. 

His heavy breathes that filled and emptied his lungs made him worry even more. He kept getting more panicked every time he couldn’t hear anything. Why was his mind trying to blank out the sounds around him? All of the worst thoughts danced around his head.

What if you’re disappearing from the face of the Earth?

Maybe your mind is slowly killing itself until you’re just a limp body on the ground?

What if you’re gonna be deaf forever?

He wasn’t becoming deaf… right? Tweek clutched at his chest. What if he couldn’t hear anymore?

Tweek tried to block out those worrying thoughts. He intercepted his route towards the cafeteria and into the boy’s restroom. He didn’t care at this point that all the kids were staring at him. He had more important things to worry about. Like how he might cease to exist!

Tweek shoved the door open with all of his strength and sprinted towards the sink. He clutched the counter and examined himself in the mirror. He turned his head to examine his ears. They weren’t torn off or bleeding. That’s good. Turned on the faucet and shoved his hands under the bitter cold water. After a few seconds he rubbed his hands all over his face. The initial shock of the temperature of the water made him shiver but the ringing in his ears continued to flood through his mind. He splashed water at his ears but… nothing. 

He could feel his heartbeat thundering in his chest and how his breathing was frantic, a storm of his heaving shoulders that scared him. He wasn’t just nervous or anxious like he usually was, he was terrified. He was so goddamn scared. He clawed at his stomach and then slammed both of his fists at a nearby bathroom stall. Not a single sound. The ringing just canceled out any sort of attempts at sound. He pressed his back against the stall’s wall and slid down towards the bottom. He felt the sting of tears well up in his eyes. He brought his knees up to his chest and dropped his head into his legs, arms clung to his head. He felt the warm tears start to roll down his cheeks and soak into his jeans. He couldn’t even hear his own choked out sobs, just the violent ringing that pounded on the walls of his skull.

Then some muffling snuck its way into the chimes. Tweek lifted his head slightly to try and drag more of the sound towards his ears. The muffling got a little louder and turned into incoherent yelling. The ringing started to diminish and the jumbles of words started to turn into sentences he could decipher. He determined that the sound was coming up from someone to his right and he turned his head to look up at the person shouting at him. It was that kid in a blue chullo hat. His signature yellow puffball peeked at the top of his hat. His arms were crossed and he was clearly annoyed and angry.

“…asshole what the fuck is your problem, why the hell did you bang on the stall?!”

Tweek just looked at him, bewildered. He was just happy that the ringing had disappeared and that his ears could take in all the sounds of the world again. He could hear the rushing sound of water from the sink and Tucker’s words bouncing off the walls of the bathroom. Tweek closed his eyes, sighed and smiled.

He stopped his rant and looked down at the crouched coffee-addict. The motherfucker was… smiling? He even swore he heard a hushed chuckle from the boy.

“What’s so funny?”

Tweek didn’t respond. He just picked himself off the ground and brushed off his thighs. He quickly glanced at the mirror and wiped the tears that were on his cheeks. He didn’t care that the crying had made his eyes puffy and pink. He was just happy that he could hear again. Tweek started to happily saunter out the door.

Craig was stunned. He was staring at an insane kid. He almost let him slip away without any explanation of his tantrum but he wasn’t satisfied with his response. Craig caught up with him and latched onto his wrist. Tweek was taken aback by the sudden grip on his arm. He stumbled slightly and looked back at the holdup. Craig refused to move and his gaze was fixated on the blond. Tweek shrank slightly but continued to stand and stare back at him. 

“What the hell was that? You hit the stall and started crying and suddenly smile when I start yelling at you?” 

Tweek really didn’t know how to answer that. What was he going to say that Craig would find somewhat normal? Tweek refused to meet his eyes, he shifted his gaze towards the floor behind Craig.

“It’s… it’s nothing” 

He said plainly. A hint of uncertainty was laced between his words and even though Craig barely knew this kid he just wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with him. Even though he probably wouldn’t bother to help him he just wanted a reason for his freak out.   
“That’s not good enough, tell me what happened.”

Tweek knitted his brows together and he shook his head, appalled at his demand.

“I.. I SAID IM FINE AND BESIDES… I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU THAT WELL… STOP PRESSURING ME!”

He yelped as he attempted to pull his arm away from Craig’s grasp which was now starting to hurt from the strength. Craig refused to let Tweek pull away and continued to tighten his grip.

“NnnGg! LET… LET GO OF MY ARM THAT HURTS!”

“Tell me what happened.”

Craig didn’t look really angry but his eyebrows were pierced and he made it clear that Tweek wasn’t leaving without an answer. 

“You…You wouldn’t understand”

He trailed off.

Craig softened his grip slightly but his hand was still wrapped around the blonde’s wrist. 

“Just tell me.”

Tweek shifted uncomfortably. There was no easy way getting out of this. He couldn’t give an answer that made him seem like a sane person.

“I… I got in trouble… w-with Mr. Garrison”

Tweek said, unsure if that was the answer Craig had been pressing Tweek to give. Craig let out a sigh and for a brief moment broke his unhindered gaze towards the wall behind the twitchy blonde. He knew that there was more to the story, he had a feeling that this kid wouldn’t freak out like that over getting in trouble. He tried to continue pressing Tweek into revealing more but he was pinched for words.   
He just ended up staring into Tweek’s bold brown eyes, he subconsciously thought that all the coffee he drank eventually flowed into his pupils to create the color they were now.

Tweek saw how unsure Craig looked, the look seemed so unfamiliar on the kid’s face. Any time he had seen him his eyes always held purpose and he always followed through with his actions. He was waiting for Craig to speak and continue to pry him of the answers that the spaz just… couldn’t give him, but he was just met with silence.

He decided to break the thick silence between them. He didn’t care if he seemed desperate or awkward in doing so, the quietness between the two made Tweeks skin crawl.

“GAAh, D- DO YOU H-, HNNG, HAVE YOUR ANSWERS”

Tweek said, desperate to get away. 

Craig just stared back at him, the uncertain look that was captured on his face now started to fade into his usual façade. 

“And the smiling?”

Craig said, refusing to show his vulnerability to a spaz like Tweek Tweak.

Tweek’s heart drastically dropped into the bottom of his stomach, back to the inevitable answer that he had to give him. With his previous answer he was able to leave it mostly vague and still true. Tweek just hoped that he could do that again this time. 

“I- I just remembered… that… I- I’m okay”

It wasn’t a lie but there was so much more than the tip of the iceberg and Craig knew this, but he didn’t want to stay in the filthy bathroom anymore. He looked away and processed what Tweek just told him, his words held little substance and barely hid the deeper meaning behind them. With that, Craig let go of the Tweek’s wrist and shoved his hands into the lint-filled pockets of his tattered blue jacket. Tweek reciprocated his wrist and held it to his chest, his other hand rubbing over the section that Craig held with such force. He had a slight feeling that faint bruises would start to show up. They both refused to look at each other, eyes glued to the walls and floors opposite to one another. The lack of conversation reminded Tweek of the rushing water from the faucet, he forgot to turn it off and probably wasted gallons of water during that whole ordeal. He didn’t really care about wasting since he uses plastic cups to drink his coffee out of all the time. He just felt that it was awkward leaving it on.

Tweek slyly walked over to the sink and turned the water off. That was the easy part. Craig was still there behind him and Tweek had to walk back over towards the door. He knew that Craig was staring at him and Tweek could probably see him if he looked up into the mirror, but he refused and his eyes were still focused on the sink. He began to scurry out of the room, his eyes desperately to not catch any glimpses of the boy in the blue chullo hat. He pushed open the door and made long strides to the cafeteria. 

Craig just stood there, slightly confused and kind of curious. There was more to that Tweak kid that Craig didn’t know about. This made him have a rare determination to become closer to him. Craig let out a hushed sigh and made his way out of the bathroom and to the cafeteria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, I will update soon, I don't want to pressure myself into trying to maintain an update schedule but I want you to know that i'm consciously thinking about this fanfic and I will update when I feel it's necessary.


	3. The Last Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek finds himself locked out of his own house due to his parent's absence. This would be the last time...
> 
> *WARNING- SELF HARM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of updating I was just not feeling the updating u know? So here's another chapter. I want to try and bring the chapters asap because I have some ideas for other fics but I refuse to work on more than one at a time so I will ATTEMPT to update faster. Thx for the patience, the comments, and the kudos. Plz enjoy.

He sat at the edge of the water, it’s freezing surface showed Tweek’s worried expression. He has been there for about forty-five minutes, contemplating what he was going to do. 

Before this Tweek started walking towards the coffee shop and noticed a closed sign. This confused him because he knew that his parents were supposed to be inside, serving customers. This was indeed strange so Tweek turned away from the locked door and walked towards his house in hopes of finding his parents. 

His pace was quick and he wasted no time with each step. His heart was thundering, and each heart beat synched up with each footstep on the concrete. When anything was slightly off in any way Tweek always prepared for the worst. His mind conjured up several impossible scenarios for the minor occurrence. Like when Cartman said ‘hi’ to Tweek that one time in the school hallway. It was very worrying to Tweek. Someone as mean as Cartman would never say hi to a spaz like Tweek. He immediately thought of ways Cartman could be plotting to kill the poor blonde, but thankfully he never did. He never really got closure on why he would say anything to him, let alone say a single hello. Tweek steered clear of Cartman for a few weeks after that. 

When Tweek saw the familiar street name, and the identical rows of houses neighboring his he started walking faster. He stumbled his way up the few steps leading to his front door. His hand latched onto the handle as he struggled to twist the knob to open only to find that it was locked. He continued to attempt to open the door but was only met with the taunting jiggle of the door refusing to open. After a few forceful pulls he realized that the door had truly been locked. Tweek stepped down from the stairs and pressed himself against the wall of his house. He stood on his tiptoes and peered through the window. The curtains were covering his full view inside but the little crack that allowed him to see inside was just pitch-black. No one was home. 

Tweek’s heart was now at an out of control pace, mixed with all of the caffeine he consumed, it would be a surprise that his heart wouldn’t give out. The fast hammering in his chest just echoed in his mind and started to bring that god-awful ringing again, but Tweek ignored it. The ringing was just replaced with panic and his twitching became severe and forced his neck to jolt and his hands to tremble. His parents could’ve been kidnapped, or assassinated! Tweek feared that whoever could’ve taken his parents were potentially still around his house so he immediately fled. He sprinted to the one place that could he knew he could go to other than the coffee shop.

So here he was, sitting at the edge of the water, letting all his pessimistic thoughts shroud his brain until all he could do was twitch violently. He came here so that he could try and think about what to do but his brain automatically generated nonsensical conspiracy theories. Aliens, underpants gnomes? His brain filtered through alternate possibilities that could’ve led to his parent’s absence. 

He let out a long-overdue sigh that somehow transformed itself into a rushed release of air from his lungs, due to the heavy amount of stress. It was hopeless trying to calm himself down since his feeble attempts would only leave him more anxious. Without a full steaming coffee-filed thermos his nerves were set alight and all he could do was feel every single twitch in his body.

Tweek began to get up from his spot near the bitter cold water and hesitated before letting the entirety of his weight be on both of his own two feet. He wabbled a bit, it was because of this that he realized the long amount of time he spent sitting there worrying. His head tilted up so that he could see the horizon. The sun was almost fully submerged in the mountains ahead of him. Was it seven or eight pm? Tweek genuinely didn’t know, he lost track of time the entirety of his stay. 

He began his wavering pace back towards his house. It was going to be a long walk, which unfortunately would give Tweek ample time to be surrounded by his convoluted thoughts. His steps were hesitant and not at all rhythmic. He walked as if the ground was littered with disguised death traps that would snap Tweek in two upon contact. After a few minutes he began to gain a rhythm and was walking at a steady pace. His eyes darted to different spots in his surroundings, expecting something to be lurking there ready to pounce at the jittery-blonde, but every piercing stare he directed, there was no such monster that would take him that night. 

Tweek’s thoughts were on a treadmill. His mind recycling through all possible factors that led to his parent’s disappearance. He tried to be his own therapist by telling himself that maybe they were back at his house, caringly waiting for Tweek to gently knock on the door and be bombarded with hugs and kisses from his loving parents. They would say how worried they were and how he should never worry them like that again. It was a false reality, but eased his troubles only slightly until he once-again reached his doorstep. He firmly grasped the doorknob and turned it, anticipating whether or not it would allow him access in his own home. The doorknob once again just stayed locked in it’s socket, mocking Tweek and his bad luck.

Tweek was really desperate now. He didn’t want to but he had nowhere else to stay other than his house. His head spun around and he frantically checked his surroundings. No one, good. Tweek circled the house until he found what he was looking for. His shaking finger tips surrounded the gold metal that was attached to the metal steps of the ladder. He then picked it up and wobbled under his parent’s  
bedroom window. He knew that his own window would be locked because he always feared of burglars so he hoped that atleast his parents would leave their window unlocked. 

He positioned the ladder below and then let gravity pull the ladder towards the wall of his house. With loud clatter the steps of the metal ladder led a slanted stairway to his only entrance, that is if it was unlocked. His foot firmly planted on the first step of the ladder he pressed weight into it to make sure that it was stable. He then brought both of his hands to the sides of the ladder and grasped it until his knuckles turned white. He was deathly afraid that the ladder would fall or break while he was trying to escalate it. He took a deep breathe and started to climb. 

His eyes were fixated to his feet to be extra sure he didn’t miss a step. Each step was very slow and cautious but worth it since Tweek didn’t want to be a pile of dead meat at the front of his house. His heart froze a few times whenever he felt the ladder shake as he was climbing it and this caused him to stay extremely still for atleast two minutes until it was safe to continue. When he got close enough to the top of the ladder he took one of his hands and clawed at the edge of the window, his other hand held even tighter to the side of the ladder. Tweek noticed how the window opened slightly at his pull but he wasn’t strong enough to open it with just one hand. He looked down at the only hand holding the ladder. He gulped and after a long moment of hesitation he untightened his fingers and lifted his hand towards the window glass. When his hand successfully reunited with his other hand his pulled the window open with just enough strength to not tip the ladder. When he had just enough room to hop through he tumbled into his parent’s bedroom and was sprawled across the floor as he rejoiced in the feeling of solid ground. 

With the moment to catch his breath, he lay heaving on the floor. His palms were kissing the dark wood that supported his weight and his fingers were desperately picking at the floorboards. Safe, the word kept repeating in his head like a broken record. 

Several minutes went by as his eyes were blankly staring at the ceiling while his right cheek was pressed on the cold wood. 

Finally he found the will to pull himself from the floor to go downstairs. 

He walked over to the open window and took the top of the ladder and with a sight push the ladder swung from the window and with a loud clatter harshly collided with the lawn below. He winced at the loud sound of metal crashing but he quickly recovered. He slid the glass shut and told himself not to lock it. He thought that if he happened to be locked out again he would want another way inside. 

He opened the bedroom door and let it shut behind him as he walked downstairs. When he made it to the bottom of the stairs his body swiveled on his heels and he basically sprinted to the tile of the kitchen floor. He frantically looked left and right but saw no one. His parents truly weren’t home. He did however spot a hastily written note that was placed on the table. He recognized the handwriting from all of the times he saw it written on paper cups at the coffee shop, his dad’s handwriting. 

Tweek, we have decided to go on vacation in New York. Sorry for the short notice but we had to catch our flight. There should be things in the house that you can eat. We’ll be back soon. 

He was appalled at the fact that instead of properly dismissing his son in order to fuck off in New York. They hadn’t even told him that they were going to leave. They probably meant to unlock the door to let him get inside but they maybe just forgot. Tweek had a feeling that they really didn’t care about whatever happens to him. Then his thoughts started to drift back to the conspiracy theories about how they left to let him be assassinated in his own home and they left to New York to have an alibi. The more Tweek put thought into this - it was one of his theories that made sense, to his mind at least. 

Tweek looked around the note to try and spot a spare key or something for the door only to find that there was none. This was last minute wasn’t it? 

He stumbled over to the coffee-machine which made him realize even more how on-edge he was. With shaking hands he glutched the coffee beans and poured them into the coffee-grinder. To his relief the sound of the grinding beans could block out the thoughts in his head. After he decided the grounds were fine enough he poured them into the coffee-filter, he fetched some water to pour into the machine. With the press of a button and a large metal thermos his coffee-brewing process began. 

He walked over to the front door and found the ladder that was on his front lawn. With some struggling he managed to carry it and place it in his backyard. When he walked back inside he saw that his coffee was finished dripping he reached into the fridge to grab the creamer. Once his coffee was to his liking he lidded it and held it close to his chest. He sprinted to the top of the stairs and burst through his bedroom and onto his bed. He kicked the door behind him to slam shut as he sprinted to the safety of his covers.

Then all the thoughts flooded back into his brain like a tidal wave and left him clawing at the impenetrable exterior of the metal encasing his coffee. His breathing was heavy and dread found its rightful place in his heart. He didn’t know why he occasionally felt this rush of self-hate but it would take a while to go away. He set his thermos carefully on the floor next to his bed. He couldn’t take this. 

He peeled back the sleeve that covered his arm and saw the faded scars that were there. He hadn’t done it in several months. He had managed to stop. But the ringing returned with its invasive presence and that’s what made him start cutting in the first place. It was the only solution to make it stop. Not even coffee solved his problem. He didn’t know what the ringing meant. It usually happened when he was overly stressed or he did something wrong. He didn’t have the courage to tell his parents so… he just found his own way to deal with it.

The occurrences were rare. His arm didn’t meet the sharp end of the razor blade that often but when it did just a few cuts was enough to make it stop. This time it was really bad. The ringing made it so difficult to hear his thoughts and he was so desperate to make it stop. He sprinted to his desk and rummaged through the drawers. When he found the shiny blade, and grasped it’s sharp edges with his fingers. When he sat back on his bed he placed his arm at the familiar position and began to slit the skin. It wasn’t that deep but he hadn’t done this in a while. The ringing faltered but it wasn’t enough. When he felt the crimson blood start seeping from the opening he decided to move slightly to a new spot. Deeper. The pain made his eyes threaten tears but he continued. He felt the blade slice through his pale skin and felt its sharp sting that followed each movement. The blood was more abundant than his last one and the ringing was almost done. Just one more and it’ll stop he told himself. One more cut and he felt a stray tear spill over and slid down his cheek but this would be the last one. When he had finished he saw the three slashes that were brimming with his own blood. The sight was so familiar and the listened intently, just the quiet wind blowing outside his window. No more ringing. He sighed and wiped the tear.He set the razor on top of his desk. His fingers felt the little bit of blood and saw how it smeared when he rubbed it. 

The last time he told himself. He was pretty sure he heard a drip on the floor that was his wounds. He walked over to the bathroom and grabbed an old towel that was under the sink. He had used this one before from the several other times. Holding it to the wounds he refused to look into the mirror. He refused to look at his disappointing self. When the blood stopped he made it back to his bed and flopped back into the covers. He rolled the sleeve and surrounded himself in the sheets. He reached back down to the thermos on the floor and held it. He took a few sips and let himself take in the newly found silence. This would be the last time… he chanted in his head and sunk into his pillow. His hands still clutched around the thermos and he just lay there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos, hope you enjoyed!


	4. Washable Marker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a few days since the abrupt "fuck-off" from his parents Tweek is left with a partnered history project. Yippee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O my G I took super long breaks between writing this and it turned out way longer than I expected. (don't know if that's a good thin or bad thing). I try to settle for consistency but fuck it you guys desearve a longer chapter. For future fics I will try to focus on an estimated word count goal and updating schedule, because of summer break I have no excuses to not wright so here is another chapter. Plz enjoy and thx for reading.

A few weeks after Tweek resumed his carnage on his scarred arms. Every logical thought that was in his mind told him that what he was doing was wrong and how each cut was one step closer to killing himself, and those thoughts were right, but all of the darker thoughts that had convinced – threatened him to do it only screamed louder and so he continued. 

Each cut usually had a reason. Any time he got an answer wrong in class, he bumped into someone. All of his accidents and mistakes tallied up on his arms. Each red slash was every mistake – every reason to why he had attacked himself, like some scoreboard on some sick sports game. The ringing usually accompanied each hateful thought, and all of his attacks were justified, at least in Tweek’s mind. He always felt like he needed to do it, the craving to do so was like a longing and his wrists ached to release all of the pressure. It had to get out somehow… somehow. 

During the few weeks his parents returned after four days when they left. Their return didn’t last long and they left the next day, at least they left the door unlocked to let him in, but they haven’t returned since. 

He considered calling the cops or something but judging by their history they probably wouldn’t give a damn and it would do nothing so why bother?

Today was Wenesday. ‘Another day’ he kept telling himself. It was the slight reassuring motivation that pushed him to get on the bus and attempt to complete his assignments, but the constant absence of his parents took a toll on him. Sure, they didn’t really pay attention to him regularly but the fact that they just left him all alone was worth three cuts in Tweek’s mind.

Tweek forced himself to take a shower. He felt how the cold water droplets soaked his hair and how they ran down his neck and to his spine, trickling down each vertebra. He let loose a sigh and just stood there. He couldn’t even find the will to even bother using shampoo or conditioner. Two minutes went by of spending a pointless amount of time in the shower. He grabbed a towel and dried himself while he snatched some clothes to wear.

The same outfit each time. Blue jeans paired with a green button-up. He could see all of the faded brown splotches that were all over the green fabric from all of the times he spilled his coffee on the thin fabric. Speaking of coffee he ran downstairs and turned on the coffee-machine. His nostrils were instantly filled with the strong aroma of unground coffee beans. Sooo gooood. As the machine was warming up he reached up to the cupboard to get his metal thermos he used every day. As he reached as high as his short arms could reach his sleeve rolled down slightly and he saw the red cuts, so many even with the few inches that were revealed. He was beginning to run out of spaces to mark so the cuts unconsciously started to inch closer to his hand and he was just now starting to realize how bad it looked. A slipup like that in public would leave him several sessions with Mr. Mackey. He didn’t want anyone to know, this was his problem and no one else’s. 

Tweek considered the possible solutions to hiding them. Bracelets no, he had none and the ones his mom had were all jeweled with diamonds and the sudden change in style would be noticed at school. He had no other shirts in his closet beside the same button-up. All of the potential solutions in his head just didn’t work. He had nothing and it was only inevitable that someone would see them and bring him to the principle. 

After several moments of thinking he just grabbed his thermos and tightly gripped the edge of his sleeve to cover the tallies. He prepared his coffee, starting with the beans and adding the water to let the amazing liquid pour into the cup. He spent the time thinking about all the bad things that could happen if people saw his cuts and scars. He unzipped his backpack and forced his fist into the dark depths of pencil shavings and papers. He found the black marker that was buried under all of the books that were shoved into the pouch. This was his solution that just felt so right.

When his thermos was placed under the oncoming rush of the strong scented liquid as he heard the steady stream of coffee fill the bottom of his thermos he rolled up his sleeve and had the tip hovering over his wrist.

He took a deep breath and his creativity started to flood his mind. He would just start to doodle the things that he couldn’t in class. Eager to start and placed the marker and started gliding over the skin. The marks wavered as the ink slid over the several uneven bumps on his skin but he was able to draw. Seconds he had drawn a UFO with a steady stream of energy aiming towards his elbow. The stream was sucking up a cow and the cow tentacles protruding from his face. He based this drawing off of a dream he had once.

The image was huge and covered the majority of his arm. He used the marker to fill in empty spaces of the image to create the illusion of light and shadow, but mainly to cover up the slashes. 

His marker danced around his skin, he created evil gnomes hoarding underpants and imps that lurked behind trees. He smiled seeing how the leisure activity calmed his nerves. His arms were now a canvas for him to create.

When he finished he grabbed his thermos when he didn’t hear liquid dripping and he added just a bit of creamer until he deemed it worthy to bring to school. He sprinted to the front door and shut it. He wanted to leave it unlocked to ease his worries but it would be a hassle to try and enter through the window again, so he lingered a few seconds at the door and hovered over the knob to make it seem as if he was locking it incase if any burglar was looking at him.

After he faked the locking of his door he sprinted to the bus stop. His parents usually drove him to school but because of their abrupt disappearance he had no other option.

As he approached the bus stop he saw familiar forms of colors in the distance. Several splotches of blue and green and orange and a prominent splotch of red; the four assholes he had to wait for the bus with. 

The abstract colors started to morph into the faces he had seen at school. Each ‘thud’ that followed his every step as he ran to the bus stop caused them to turn at the loud noises coming from their right. 

The first face he saw was Stan’s. He looked mildly confused and the faces that followed up after that mimicked his expression but varying on levels of severity. Kyle looked more surprised than Stan did, as well as worried. Cartman was very confused but a slight grin started to appear on his stubbly chin . Kenny’s face was a bit more difficult to read but his wide eyes said enough. Frankly their expressions didn’t bother Tweek that much, with thoughts cluttering his mind their reactions to his random outburst just became routine. They were probably only slightly surprised that Tweek was going on the bus again. Even though he was arriving on the bus for the past few days it has still been weird to see him sprinting to the bus.

When he was just a few feet from Stan he came to an abrupt halt and had his hands gripping his shaking knees and his chest was heaving as his head was craned down towards the cracked pavement beneath his small black sneakers. His ears were filled with all of the loud pants that were coming from his mouth and he could feel the aching in his chest from running that long. He didn’t know if he was late or not since his parents always drove him to school. No matter how early he was he always felt late. 

Kyle’s slightly concerned voice cut through the desperate breathes. 

“Tweek you’re not gonna be late you know?”

Tweek too tired left ample time for Cartman to insert himself into the subject.

“Tweek you fucking spaz, I bet his dad fucked his mom so Tweek is afraid he is going to get killed then raped by him .”

Surprisingly Cartman was holding a look of slight seriousness but then he started snickering.

“Fat ass you’re mom gets fucked all the time!”

“Fuck you Kahl. You’re just pissy because you have sand up your vagina”

Cartman started chuckling and soon was bent over with his hands on his knees like Tweek previously was.

“Ah fuck – o gawd! I’m out of breathe!”

“You’re out of breathe because you’re an overweight fatso.”

“Ay- FUCK YOU KAHL! ATLEAST I’M NOT A JEW!”

“So you admit your fat, tubby” Kyle retorted with a slight smirk.

“FUCK YOU!” Cartman huffed while crossing his large arms over his chest. Kyle won this pointless fight this time. 

Soon the bus pulled up with a loud screech and the doors swung open. Tweek hated that high-pitched squeal and would probably never get used to it.

Tweek sat by himself as usual. He didn’t have any interest in sitting with those assholes anyway. He was perfectly fine with sitting on the spit and body odor scented seat alone. 

He exhaled and lifted his sleeve to reveal some of the doodles. They had successfully hidden the majority of the scars. Thank god. His solution had to work. Then he started to worry about having to wash his hands. God what then if some of the water trickled down his hands to the doodles? The marker he used was meant to be washed away with water so his weak defense wouldn’t do much and the doodles were just destined to fade. He would just redraw over the faded shapes, yeah it would be fine. Tweek then considered stealing a sharpie or something from the classroom. That would work better than his crappy marker he has now. But what if he got caught? Too much pressure.

The bus stopped again and he heard that godawful screech that pierced his ears. Jesus, it sounded like a distressed scream for help from the depths of hell. Those damn late night scary stories he would often listen to were starting to get to him. Goddamn. 

The bus doors opened at the bus stop and Tweek faced the window staring down the tall identical green trees that were around South Park and how the snow just clung onto every branch and stayed there almost year-round. Then he felt the weight of the seat beneathe him start to shift and he turned his head to the left to see that familiar blue hat and yellow puff that sat on top. Craig Tucker decided to grace Tweek with his presence. Tweek didn’t really care but because of habit he let out a muffled distressed noise and twitched. Craig didn’t even bat an eyelash at his minor outburst. Then Tweek scooted as far into the window and forced his head to look out the window as the side of his temple connected to the cold glass.

He had no idea why he felt so uneasy, well that was all the time but something just flipped his stomach when he was in close proximity to the kid. Maybe it was how when they were younger as Feldspar he could creep around and pick locks without making a single sound, and this apparent fact was unnerving to Tweek. He was just too quiet and his unchanging apathetic expression just hid too many thoughts. He could be planning on bombing the school and Tweek wouldn’t be able to tell. 

Tweek picked up his backpack and placed it in his lap and fiddled with the straps. Craig threw his backpack on the floor in the little foot space of the seat while he pulled his phone from his pocket and the ear buds were already connected. The cord was loosely tangled into small clump that could easily be untangled but Craig didn’t care and just plunged the ear pieces in his ears anyway. He wasn’t as secluded as Tweek and his body took up more space than Tweek’s tucked away form. Craig had his legs partly spread and his arms carelessly were placed at his sides, the palms facing up, his head was laid back and ontop of the back of the seat. He was just looking up with his half-lidded eyes. This confused Tweek and made him and made him wonder how someone can be so care-free when there could be assassins lurking in every corner and he could just put his safety in jeopardy like that?

Tweek just sat in silence, with the occasional tics and unintentional mumbles he was relatively quiet while Craig didn’t make a sound. In some instances he forgot Craig was even sitting there beside him. It some weird sense it kind of calmed Tweek. His presence was somewhat comforting even if he couldn’t tell he was there most of the time but the sheer quietness that radiated from him washed over like a blanket over Tweek’s quivering form.

Soon the bus pulled up to the shitty stack of bricks that was his school. ‘Another day’ was all he could say in his head. 

When the bus slowed before the driver could even pull his breaks students were already filing out from the abundant collumns of seating that lined the bus. All of them just crowded the aisle and the commotion was just too much for little Tweek. He decided to just wait for all of them to file out. Even if he did want to get out Craig was blocking the way and had no intention to get up either. He was still nonchalantly sitting in his seat, unfazed by the swarms of kids beside him, still surrounding himself in his music.

It took a few minutes but soon everyone shuffled out of the bus just leaving Tweek and Craig in the seat. Tweek didn’t want to be yelled at by the bus driver so Tweek began to get up. HE pulled his backpack onto his shoulders and shimmed closer to the aisle. Surprisingly Craig just refused to move, or he was just unaware of the necessity to get up.

“Ghh- Craig?”

He still sat there looking up at the ceiling.

“C-Craig you have to move”

Tweek said in a stern voice even though his ticking impacted his intentions the frustration was slowly beginning to build up. He didn’t want to be late, that would be too much pressure.

Craig still didn’t budge and it was only now that Tweek realized he probably couldn’t hear him, he could hear the faint blasting of music come from his ear buds. Goddamn.

Tweek let out a sigh of frustration. He was not up for Craig’s stubbornness. With a slight moment of hesitation he lifted his hand and pulled out one of the ear buds and let it tangle on his chest. Craig’s eybrows pierced together and he looked at Tweek.

“Gah- Move”

This sudden uprise of courage kind of surprised Tweek, and if it surprised Craig he didn’t let it show. 

With the lack of a response Tweek was beginning to regret his hostile approach and was bracing himself for a punch in the face, but instead was face with no such attack. He just sighed and hauled his backpack onto his shoulders while he stuffed his phone into his blue jacket pocket. As he got up and walked down the aisle to get off the bus. Tweek was relieved that he didn’t get punched in the face.  
He followed the black-haired male out of the bus. Tweek examined the back of his head and traced his skin with his eyes and while glancing at the side of his check he swore that he saw a faint smirk, but he couldn’t be sure. When Tweek got to the few steps leading out of the bus he just saw how the bus driver was slumped in his seat with a clipboard and a pen scribbling some message. Out of his peripheral vision he saw a silver flask that was clutched in the driver’s left hand. Good, go get drunk.

As soon as Tweek carefully went down the steps he felt the cold breeze hit and nip at his pale cheeks. His hands were tightly grasped around his backpack straps as he began to walk to the front entrance, he had lost Craig but heard the distant joyful shouts from Clyde so Tweek just assumed that he found his little friend group.

What he didn’t know was that Craig was eyeing him from a distance, impressed at how Tweek seems to beam with a rare – almost intimidating confidence. Goddamn.

Tweek automatically just headed to his first class even though school doesn’t officially start until fifteen minutes he just couldn’t risk some sort of schedule change. Then he would get in trouble. Tweek didn’t want to get in trouble. 

His feet soon found their way to his designated classroom and he sat down in the back close to the window. Even though his view of the outside was obscured by the same green trees he still liked the occasional wafts of cold air. 

He sat down at his desk and began the waiting process. The Mr. Garrison wasn’t even there yet, but frankly Tweek had nothing else to do.  
His fingers fiddled with the zipper on his backpack and after a few minutes he decided to pull out his notebook. The spiral on the side was all mangled and hardly holding the pages. The cover was all bent and folded at the corners and the color was faded from all the friction inside his backpack. All his notebooks were like this but Tweek was just too accustomed to the sight he just kind of forgot about how destroyed his notebooks were. 

With several minutes passing by students started filing in and shuffling to their seats. A few decided to sit at their designated seats but the majority just fluttered into their clusters of their own friend groups. Tweek sat alone but that wasn’t anything new - he wasn’t really bothered by this fact, in fact, he preferred to be left alone by himself with his thoughts.  
Tweek realized he never really drank out of his thermos yet. 

He peered over his desk and looked down at his backpack. When he reached inside he grasped the tightly sealed container. He pressed the top and chucked a great amount. Delicious. 

Mr. Garrison walked in and started his lecture. Tweek automatically tuned out and looked out the window. He traced all of the leaves on one of the trees with his eyes. 

Twenty minutes into his rant about ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ Mr. Garrison talked about how there was some bullshit history project, Tweek was only half listening until he heard him say

“…project you will be partnered up. It will be at random so you can’t pick.”

Tweek was staring wide-eyed at the front but he hang off of every syllable that flooded out of his mouth. Mr. Garrison pulled up his clipboard full of all the names in the class for attendance. He just scanned the text and said random pairs of names. Tweek had that feeling again, the same time when Garrison was saying everyone’s names for notebook checks. 

He was spewing random names until…

“Stan… Kevin, Tweek… and Craig”

Everyone was migrating from different spots around the room to move closer to their assigned partners. Tweek spotted Craig, who was on the other side of the room. When Craig just stared nonchalantly off into space Tweek sighed and decided to take the initiative and he went to sit at the unoccupied desk next to him. He held his tarnished notebook close and his thermos closer. Within the slots between each of his fingers he clutched two broken pencils. One end with the lead and the other broken end contained the eraser. Craig turned his head slightly and took note of Tweek’s existence. The silence just filled the few feet of spaced between them. Tweek felt like he should say something but he wasn’t obligated to do so and he just ended up sitting in the silence. It wasn’t completely silent anyway, kids were shouting and talking while Mr. Garrison just sat in his desk and was just reading a book. The silence wasn’t really uncomfortable anyway. Tweek had a nice appreciation for silence.

Tweek spaced out or brought his attention to other things other than class so he had little to no clue about what this project was about, or what they were doing. He thought about asking Craig, with the slight hope that he would’ve paid more attention than Tweek did. 

With the stubborn silence remaining Tweek just decided to focus on other things. He just decided to doodle on his arm again, the cut one. He examined the marks and saw that they were still in decent condition. Only a few smudges on some of the lines the pictures were mostly recognizable. Tweek decided to fill in some empty spaces that weren’t covered by any scars. On the top of his arms he started getting carried away. Aliens, spaceships, asteroids, galaxies, he always had the reoccurring thought that space was endless and humanity would never really know what’s out there. In his opinion that was for the best. Some things are just best undiscovered. 

When ten minutes went by without any conversation Craig began to get a bit curious, what could take up Tweek’s attention for ten whole minutes. He peeked and saw glimpses of his arm. He saw stars and spaceships and he was sort of interested in the doodles?  
Craig scooted closer to Tweek and he didn’t seem to notice. He leaned in to the side of his head.

“What are you drawing?” He asked in his monotone voice.

“Gah!” Tweek yelped pulling his head up from his arm. The marker that was drawing the eye of one of the alien’s eyes the tip made an involuntary mark on his skin and Tweek scowled, his attention was directed to Craig.

“Doodling… why?”

Craig just let out a quiet ‘hmph’ in response.

Tweek looked back at the decorated skin and saw the mark. With the magic of saliva and the tip of his finger he rubbed at the mark and in an instant it disappeared.

“Take that washable marker…” Tweek muttered under his breathe. He thought Craig didn’t hear him but he did, and he realized how much of a dork Tweek was. Tweek had so many sides to him that Craig wanted to piece together. The minor fascination gave him such little motivation to start getting to know the blonde better. From what he saw Tweek was just a scared twitchy kid that drank too much coffee who had crazy conspiracy theories. Tweek was crazy and that was apparent to Craig due to the bathroom incident, but yet again Tweek wasn’t weak. When needed Tweek could show confidence and stubbornness that Craig thought was the real Tweek, that part of him was just concealed by the tics and paranoia - Interesting. 

“Hey can I see your arm?” Craig said, tone unwavering 

Tweek panicked for a few seconds but then he realized Craig was talking about the drawings, he didn’t know about the cuts, he couldn’t.  
Craig noticed Tweek tense when he asked but saw how he attempted to fix his breathing but he saw the uneasiness in his shoulders. Did everything panic the poor kid? Craig took a mental note.

“G- Sure” Tweek spat.

Craig took a steady and reassuring arm towards Tweek’s. He attempted to make it apparent that he was moving towards him as to not startle him. Tweek saw his advances and forced himself to calm down, or at least look the part.

He gently rested his fingertips around his arm and with a bit a pressure he was pulling it closer to him. Each movement was steady, careful and Tweek appreciated it. It was embarrassing to be babied like this in Tweek’s opinion but he didn’t fight him. 

He leaned his head downward towards the arm. He looked at every single shape and line. The lines were surprisingly clean coming from the shaky grasp of the one and only Tweek Tweak. It made Craig inwardly smile. With a gently finger he gently started poking and touching at the doodles. This was fine until Craig turned his arm over to inspect the cover up doodles. This caused Tweek to panic and out of pure reflex he yanked his arm away from Craig’s touchy fingers. With enough time his hands would be able to feel the uneven surface of his skin and that would cause the up rise of questions Tweek couldn’t find reasonable answers for. Upon seeing worry and a hint of disappointment wash over Craig’s face Tweek realized how strange that was for him to do that.

“S-Sorry!” He shouted. If not for the loud volume of the classroom everyone would’ve turned to the sudden outburst but his little yelp wasn’t enough to penetrate the loud chatter of all the students.

Craig sat there staring at his expressions. Taking note of how his face was the little crack of insight into the blonde’s mind, his facial fluctuations almost giving away direct thoughts in his head but not quite. Just pieces – fragments of the inner thoughts of his brain, Goddamn.

“Are you okay” He managed to ask. He wanted to keep the impression that it didn’t faze him and that he was completely calm.

“hggg… yeah sorry – it’s no-not you…”. Soon his response just trailed off into little mumbles and dissipated into bitter silence.

“Are you sure?”

“yeah..”. With a response not the least bit convincing –again- Craig knew that it was the end to pressing for real responses.

Tweek cold feel his cold eyes stare him down and it made him shake. Desperate to stop this assault he tried to redirect the conversation to the project they were assigned. 

“D- Um… Dd you know Wh- what we’re supposed to do for the p-project?”

Craig blinked twice and said.

“Something about the Civil War I think.” Instantly he recognized how desperate he was to change the topic and just let it slide. He would’ve liked to press him further like in the bathroom but last time proved unsuccessful and he got this feeling to not poke at this any further. Why, he didn’t know, but this felt like it needed time for whatever reason?

“Gah – I’m gonna get an F”.Tweek said, partly for comedic purposes but also because he really did think he was going to fail this class.

“Well so am I dude, it’s graded for both of us.”

Tweek started shaking again. The black haired boy just looked at him, sighed and said.

“Okay let’s get started, I can just ask Token or something.”

The smaller boy just nodded in response. There was something special about this kid. Why Craig was so fascinated with this spaz, no idea, but he just wanted to know more about him and the class project just seemed to bring the perfect opportunity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. It's a long chapter. 3 more chapters to go. The lack of consistency in this story is stabbing my insides (the word count and minor plot stuff) I really enjoy writing this but i'm just afraid of disappointing you guys. You don't deserve that. If i'm honest part of me was going to cancel this fic but I don't want to be a hypocrite so I'm just gonna push through and do my best with it... I guess. Next chapter will come when I can actually get around to writing it. Maybe it will be around 2000-3000 words idk. Thx again for reading and the kudos!


	5. Distracting Markings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was stupid. A vocal performance at the town's PC festival. It was dumb and so was this conversation with Mr. Mackey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again i'm pushing through with this story so enjoy what little I have to offer...

This is stupid. Mr. Mackey was apparently constructing a vocal concert for Garrison’s class to perform at some stupid festival the mayor was holding. Something about political correctness, PC principal was a huge supporting advocate for the event and it didn’t surprise Tweek that he forced the class to sing for the town. 

Mackey had always been a perfectionist when it came to school performances so he took initiative to direct the class. 

Tweek wasn’t really afraid of singing in front of the town. His classmates would suffer with him and he could just bury his voice under the overlapping voices of everyone else’s. Within a few weeks of “rehearsal” ;which just ended up being an hour of singing ‘Amazing Grace’ in the cafeteria for an hour. It was completely stupid to Tweek and probably to everybody else but it wasn’t much of a problem until after practicing Mr. Mackey pulled him aside when everybody left.

“Mr. Mackey?” He questioned, anxiety creeping in. Was he in trouble? Probably.

“Tweek, I think that there’s an issue…” Definitely – definetly in trouble.

Tweek just stood there, his shoulders tense under his gaze - THE PRESSURE! He just let a low grunt in response. Apparently Mackey failed to notice how Tweek was two seconds from collapsing from the potential heart attack - the nonexistent heart attack that is – and was shaking in his sneakers.

“You see Tweek… the doodles on your arms can’t be seen at the festival.”

“Gah- Why?!”

“Well Tweek they can be kind of distracting to our audience and because of your height you’re gonna be on the front risers so everyone will be able to see them and we don’t want to affend anyone with your gang markings, mkay” He finished.

“There no-not gang markings and i-if anythings offensive I can replace them with nicer things like flowers o-or something!” He exclaimed. If Tweek had to set aside what little dignity he had to hide his scars he would do it, anything to prevent all of South Park to see them.

“Yeah… I appreciate your willingness to change Tweek… mkay but they’re distracting… like I said and that would ruin the performance… and ruining the performance is bad, mkay.”

Tweek trembling, after every word Mr. Mackey said he couldn’t help but continue his shaking.

“So Tweek… I would really appreciate if you didn’t have drawings on your arms until the performance date… mkay.”

“M- Mr. Mackey please I- I can’t stop I need the drawings… you wouldn’t understand.”

Tweek was pleading and at this point begging for him to make an acception.

“If you have any problems Tweek I am here for you… do you want to talk?”

Tweek’s head was hung low so he couldn’t see how a few tears were starting to form in his eyes. This wasn’t his problem and he wouldn’t let it be a problem, he doesn’t trust Mr. Mackey, not with this heavy secret. He fought back the tears and just shook his head.

“mkay… so Tweek if you need to draw you can just use this.”

Mr. Mackey went over to the stool he sat in while he was conducting the performance with the students. Slouched on one of the legs of the four-legged stool was a tacky, fake, brown, leather messenger bag stuffed with several papers full of fine print which was probably lyrics for ‘Amazing Grace’ as well as random documents he had as the school’s counselor.He dug his spindly fingers inside the cluttered space. With a few moments of digging he pulled out a thick notepad its silver spiral was clinging onto the abundant sheets of lined paper. He brought the pad closer to Tweek and held it out to the small boy. He just stared at it, as if the stack of pages were foreign space objects. This was for real.

Mackey noticed how the blonde didn’t take it from his hand and just pushed his hand closer to the boy’s face hoping to get a reaction and started to speak.

“If you ever want to draw one your arms just use this… mkay.”

With hesitation fully present in his eyes he reached for the pad and held the pages with a loose grip, his fingers were threatening to drop the damn thing to the floor. Tweek was just silent and stared off at the opposite wall as Mackey just slid his bag onto his shoulder and made his way out the door.

“Thank you for your time Tweek.” And with that he flicked off the cafeteria lights on headed out the door. He flinched when he was drowned in the darkness but continued to stand there. Strange how he just left him in the dark space but his mind was still clouded with worry and panic. 

‘When they see my scars everyone will treat me like I’m insane, as if it wasn’t bad enough that I’m treated like a spaz. All my friends will laugh and who knows what Cartman will do. GAH – TOO MUCH PRESSURE!’

The last bit he yelped out loud, pulling him out of his thoughts only slightly. His heart was jump-roping and with that being the only motivation to not sit in the blackness of the cafeteria and cry he reluctantly walked out to the cafeteria’s double doors.

He pushed them open and sauntered out the door. The school day was over and Tweek was pretty sure he missed the bus. Stupid Mackey, but that didn’t matter. The scars were prominent on his arms and he would have little success in hiding them from everyone. He was utterly fucked.

The blonde thought he was alone until he hear the nasally voice of a certain someone. The blue hatted ghost.

“What the hell was that about?”

He glanced up to see Craig leaning on the wall - blue chullo hat and all. Tweek didn’t even try to hide his thunder storm of emotions. The noirette had already seen his display.

Tweek just stared at him, his coffee-colored eyes void of any sort of joy or happiness seemed to look a lot darker, but that was most likely just an illusion. He brought his left arm and gripped the spot just above his right elbow. What was the point of explaining, it was obvious he had just listened to that entire conversation.

He couldn’t supply an answer, and the silence only counted reasons for him to just add more cuts on his arms at this very moments. He wanted a coffee. The tears he had been suppressing earlier were stronger and he really didn’t want to cry in front of him. He hated feeling weak, he never wanted to be seen as weak and he wanted to prove he could handle tough situations without caving in, even if the only person he attempted to bring a point to was himself that didn’t matter. To no avail a tear spilled over the damn that was his bottom eyelid and several droplets followed after that. His vision was blurry with tears and he felt his eyes swell and the lump in his throat that you get when you cry bottled up inside his neck and he just crouched down and hugged his knees.

Craig abandoned his uncaring demeanor and crouched beside the sobbing boy and he knelt beside his small form. He hesitated but desided to place an arm and rub circles into the boy’s back as he let out several chocked sobs. 

The crying boy appreciated the small gesture, as well as the fact Craig just respected the time Tweek needed to let out a good cry. He hadn’t done that in weeks. The last time he did it was when he got the first note of his parent’s abrupt vacation and those were only a few tears. This was nice. Even though he was crying in front of someone like Craig… it wasn’t the first time. In fact Craig was probably one of the only people he’s cried in front of – this being the second time. 

The black haired boy just continued to offer his support. He didn’t know if he was helping or not but Tweek didn’t reject the subtle contact so he continued. Although the action was minimal it really helped him immensely.

After a many amount of minutes Tweek was able to contain try and contain himself. His eyes felt puffy and he felt so fatigued he just stayed on the floor but his cries had been whittled down to sniffles. When Craig deemed him calm enough he sat on the floor next to Tweek since he just didn’t feel like getting up. This was fine. Even though the hallways tiles were probably very dirty and Craig wondered if Tweek thought it held various deadly parasites that didn’t seem to bother the unsanitary surface below him. He just cradled his knees and began his blank stare. His breathe sounded heavy but Craig just hoped he could offer whatever reassurance he could muster. This was a deep broblem the coffee-addict was dealing with and Craig knew he wasn’t the ideal person to help him but due to the class project he and Tweek were starting to become closer.

Craig was just seated on the floor. He didn’t know what he was planning to say to him. He tried to think of the right words to reassure the twitching blonde and with much time he was carefully crafting his sentence.

“Do… Do you wanna talk about it?” His tone didn’t hide any concern, it was so unlike Craig and this behavior was so alien to him – to both of them but he thought that this was important. 

Tweek just continued to stare ahead of him before turning his head slowly to face his friend – or the closest thing he had to a friend at the moment. He saw the concern that was plastered all over the opposing boy’s face and upon seeing this he looked away from his face – but his head was still facing him. The slight embarrassment was sneaking up on Tweek since he was seeing him at such a low state and the thoughts just got darker as he was thinking he was wasting Craig’s time, he didn’t deserve this concern from Craig, he didn’t have the right to involve him in his problems. Why did he have to care.

Tweek brought his head to the little small space in his knees as he hugged himself tighter.  
The blonde said something but his words were mumbled by his jeans.

“I… I didn’t hear that.” He said. He felt vulnerable to the blonde. They both felt vulnerable. Tweek was curled up on the floor and Craig was showing concern that was almost an impossible emotion for him, but they were both experiencing this vulnerability together.  
He lifted his head from his knees and turned his head to face Craig. 

“Why do you care?” His tone wasn’t as accusatory as it was pure confusion. His voice was slightly chocked because of his now reoccurring tears. He was genuinely questioning why someone like Craig would even care about the existence of someone so… worthless.

Craig was briefly shocked at the question, and his brain was formulating a proper response. ‘Why did he care’? It was kind of a good question because of Craig’s usual personality but Craig was questioning ‘why wouldn’t he care?’

“I… I just hate seeing you like this.” His voice was so minuscule and soft. Tweek saw how this was pure concern. He didn’t deserve this.

“Uggh… I don’t deserve this.” His head returned to his knees and the sobs came crashing back.

“I… I don’t deserve your compassion!” Although his voice was slightly muffled his louder shouts weren’t incredibly difficult to decipher. 

“What do you mean?” His tone was still cautious but it was apparent that he was demanding an explanation. 

“It’s just… I’m so worthless and… how can you care for something so useless.” He wouldn’t dare bring his head up from his knees to see Craig. The cries were chocking his words and his twitching was completely absent but the sobs just took their place

“Tweek… I don’t think your worthless.” He was kind of sad that Tweek had that mindset about himself and even if he never really thought of him as a god he always thought the blonde was far from ‘worthless’.

His sobs faltered… for a moment but Tweek’s head still remained covered by his knees

“… So please don’t think that way and just tell me what’s wrong.” Every word that left the noirette’s mouth shocked even him but it hurt him seeing the blonde in this state and he didn’t quite know why but he just felt obligated to fix this.

Tweek lifted his heavy head to look at Craig with puffy eyes he dragged his dark green sleeve and dragged it across his eyes and started to recover again. He looked so worn – so drained but just looked at Craig anyway.

“I- I’m fine… th-thanks Craig.” 

Craig knew everything was not fine but knowing Tweek this was the end to questioning him so he just let it go… for now.

“So… um the project… agh we were gonna go to your house to work on it right?”

Tweek pulled Craig out of his thoughts and just nodded remembering why he stood outside of the cafeteria waiting in the first place.

He sighed and pulled himself off the floor and wiped away the remaining wetness under his eyes and just forced his head towards the floor refusing to see Craig, and the black-haired boy just followed him and they walked out to Craig’s house to work on the project. The trip there was just quiet and no words were shared between the two and Craig was determined to find out this blonde’s secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: whenever idk. Thanks for reading it really means a lot to me and i'm finding all of my errors in the story and I dont know if I should fix them or not... okay welp thx for the kudos you have no idea how much it means to me!


	6. Blue Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the school Tweek and Craig get to work on the project.
> 
> Warning: Self-Harm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. I have decided to bless yall with with a chapter sooner than I usually would. Just a heads up... It's about to go down.

With a heavy silence hanging over both of the boys as they walked along the cracked sidewalk to hazel colored home. It was less awkward but more necessary due to the previous “episode” outside the cafeteria the lack of conversation seemed fitting to the situation. 

When the familiar street signs and houses came into view Craig tucker subtly lead them to the path of his house. Tweek just continued to walk beside the boy with the blue hat – being careful and keeping a few several inches of distance between his blue jacket. He wasn’t  
looking down anymore because his face looked fine – the puffiness and color reduced significantly he just didn’t want the potential of catching Craig’s gaze. So he just observed the almost identical neighboring houses that lined the roads. He counted all of the ones that had their lights on and took subtle note of the oddities a few of them had, such as an un-mowed lawn and the ones that had several toys strewn across the lawn. He didn’t realize that they had made it to their destination until he saw in his peripheral vision the blue stop abruptly and turn towards the lawn of one of the houses. He just followed and kept quiet.

He heard the hard knocks that landed on the front door and with a few moments they were greeted by Mrs. Tucker. She asked about the blonde that was paired with her son and he just told her that they were going to work on a school project together. Tweek just looked at her for no longer than a second and offered a weak smile followed by a small wave of his pale hand. She didn’t question it. She led them in and proceeded to shut the door as Tweek and Craig walked up the stairs. He opened the door and lead Tweek inside. The lights were off and the curtain covered window showed little to no light. The heavy embrace from the darkness brought a thick presence in his chest. It reminded him to much of the countless nights he skipped out on sleep or the even more torturous nights he had hurt himself. The thoughts made his shoulders tense and he didn’t realize how harshly he was gripping his arm until he felt the pain that grew increasingly more painful with the harsh grip. 

Then light flooded into the room as the switch was flicked by Craig and he just sat on his bed and threw his backpack. He just meekly followed and set his bag on the floor next to the bed. The black haired male noticed the shy behavior and patted the navy blue sheets beneath him.

Tweek reached over the side of the bed and pulled out his notebook and his broken pencil along with a few crumpled worksheets Mr. Garrison piled on top of them. He tried to smooth over the wrinkles but the prominent folds in the paper remained no matter how hard he tried. When he looked up he saw Craig with similar materials – soon meeting the blondes gaze. Tweek didn’t want his previous behavior change the way Craig saw him and even if it did Tweek hoped that ignoring the whole ordeal would bring him what little confidence he had inside. If he couldn’t prove he was strong to Craig he needed to prove he was strong to himself – which actually seemed a lot more difficult. 

Tweek was the first to break the thick silence that hung in the space between the two. 

“S-So did we choose the topic yet.” When he heard his own voice it just sounded to foreign to him. He hated it but he had to put up his cover for just a bit longer until tonight. 

‘That’s another tally…’ Tweek thought.

“Um… I was thinking we do it about the Great Depression since everyone is probably gonna do the wars and stuff – especially Cartman he’s totally gonna do the project on his hero Hitler unless Kyle beats his ass enough to force him not to.”

“The fatass got pa-paired with Kyle?”

“Yeah, he threw a book at Cartman when Garrison called the two and I saw a bruise forming on his forehead at lunch.” He started chuckling and Tweek started laughing with him too. Thinking about how their project will be seems quite amusing. The laughter was short lived and died down quickly; he hoped that his chuckling didn’t sound forced or something to Craig. Goddamn.

“Yeah let’s do the depression then.” The blonde said.

He wasn’t really looking but he swore he saw a slight smile on Craig’s face in his peripherals. A fuzzy feeling started making its place in Tweek’s heart and he felt his heartbeat go faster in his chest, except this time wasn’t out of panic or adrenaline, this feeling gave him a settling bliss. It was nice.

“So we’re supposed to do a presentation to the class about the timeline and explain all of the important events.”

“O-Ok.”

They spent about thirty minutes doing research and during the entire length of that time Craig had his ear buds in and was listening to music on his phone. It probably wasn’t turned up that high but because of the lack of sound in the room Tweek heard the occasional drumming followed by several indistinguishable sounds. He wouldn’t also been listening to music if he had a phone. The phone his parents got him broke after a week because he spilled a mass amount of coffee on it and just when the phone was working again Tweek with his butter fingers dropped the phone on the hard tile of his kitchen floor, shattering the screen. His parents didn’t bother paying for a new phone or fixing it so Tweek just kept the shattered phone in his closet.

Tweek had a slight appreciation for the lack of conversation since the majority of it would just be awkward small talk. An hour went by and the realization brought him out of his concentrated study mode and he looked at Craig who just continued to work.

With several moments of hesitation he asked.

“Craig what time is it?”

After moments of no response he remembered Craig was listening to music and couldn’t hear him, especially since he talked so quietly.  
‘Idiot, that’s another mark for your stupidity’ Ugh that would be seven marks tonight. Counting the few mistakes he made today and his completely unnecessary break down today he shuttered at the thought. No, he deserved this.

With a shaky finger he tapped Craig’s shoulder and he immediately lifted his head and took one of his buds out to listen to the blonde.

“W-what time is it?”

Craig pulled up his phone and looked at his lock screen. Tweek noticed the phone case he had that was a colorful galaxy with a few stars scribbled in white. He couldn’t tell if Craig drew those or if those were already printed on the phone case. It seemed fitting in a way. 

“It’s nine… do you need to leave?”

“Agh… yeah I should probably leave.”

He began gathering his items and shoving them in the space of his bag.

“Do you need me to walk you home?” Tweek’s heart fluttered at the thought of Craig walking him home. 

‘No you don’t deserve that’ the harsh thought stung but he knew it was true.

“Nng- No, no… I think I can make it…” He could hear the uncertainty so prominent in his voice and he saw Craig’s expression, he noticed it too.

“Come on I’ll take you home.”

“Wha- What no, no I said I got it Craig!”

“Nope I’m taking you and you can’t stop me.” Craig wasn’t going to allow Tweek to have his way again. Not this time.

Tweek saw the sternness in his eyes and just decided to let him come along. To be fair Tweek wasn’t familiar of this street and what if he got lost and kidnapped or killed. That wouldn’t be fun. Tweek lifted his backpack and hoisted it on his shoulders and Craig just unplugged the ear buds and shoved them in his coat pocket and did the same with his phone. Tweek gulped because he had a feeling that Craig wanted to talk to him during their trip.

They left the house and he heard the faint goodbyes from Craig’s mom and just continued. 

Tweek looked around trying to take in his surroundings and realized how dark it actually was. Craig just started to walk, certain of his direction. This confused Tweek because he hadn’t even told him his address. 

“Ho-How do you know where I live? ARE YOU A SECRET CIA AGENT THAT’S GOING TO KILL ME IN MY SLEEP?!” 

Craig just chuckled. 

“Tweek I’m not a secret CIA agent and I’m not going to kill you.”

He still didn’t answer his first question but just continued with the silence.

“Besides… I saw you climb in your window so I figured you lived there.”

“Gack… YOU SAW THAT?!” Tweek’s blood turned cold and his twitching found its way back to the poor boy.

“Yeah Tweek it wasn’t that hard to miss.”

He heard the laughing come from the boy next to him.

“WELL HOW DO YOU KNOW I WASN’T- GAGH- BREAKING AND ENTERING?!”

He was shouting in the neighborhood but didn’t care. He was probably waking up everyone with his screams, but dammit this was important!

“Oh yeah... And what would you steal?”

“…”

“Good point.”

They just stayed quiet for a few minutes, just appreciating the scenery. If Craig wasn’t walking with him then Tweek would be eyeing every corner for creepy shadows lurking between buildings. He even looked up at the sky and saw all of the twinkling stars. There weren’t many but he was lucky to see them. He read online that most cities can’t see their stars because of all the light pollution but since he lived in a quiet little mountain town little light was given off and they were blessed with the stars. He wondered if anyone noticed the beautiful lights above. 

“So…why did you climb into the window?”

“I… I d-didn’t have a key.”

 

“What about your parents?” He frowned at the mention of his parents but it was hidden by the darkness of the night.  
“They’re… out.” He didn’t press any further and he had a subtle appreciation for it.

Craig let out a sigh and just began to ask the inevitable question that was bound to come some time.

“Tweek… can you please just tell me why you freaked out earlier?” He felt a mass amount of dread hang over his shoulders as they walked. Why couldn’t this just be left alone? 

“Craig please…” He could already feel the tears start to form but he forced them down he had to keep Craig out of this.

“No Tweek just tell me… I need to know.” He tried to examine the blonde’s expression but he couldn’t see it because of the dark. The hurt that he felt Tweek was going through was killing him, and he probably doesn’t have a right to know his problems he hoped that Tweek and him got closer somehow. He knew that he was probably one of the closest people to Tweek since he saw that he didn’t talk to many other kids at school.

“Are… Tweek are you worried I’m gonna tell everyone at school?”

Tweek considered the thought but it was more than that. 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Clyde or Token.”

“I-It’s not that Craig.” 

“Tweek then what is it that you’re so afraid of?” His tone was stern and different from the other times. Tweek was worried that he couldn’t escape his impending demands to spill all of his secrets he locked so deep inside. 

“B-Because it’s n-not important Craig!” He was fumbling over his words but he couldn’t help all of the emotional stress.

“BECAUSE I’M NOT IMPORTANT!” The tears finally spilled over and he sprinted away from Craig. He knew where he was now and he decided not to go to his house. He heard the faint shouts from behind him but the distant voices only became fuzzy and lost in the white noise in his head. The ringing violently in his head was pounding and he just felt sore all over. With aching legs he just continued to  
retreat – with hopes of losing Craig. 

When he heard nothing but the ringing he slowed his pace and walked over the snow covered grass and sat at the edge of the pond. Starks pond offered some sort of familiarity to him that offered some sort of strange comfort. He couldn’t even hear the sobs that escaped his throat but he only felt the hot tears poor down his face that temporarily warmed his cold face. He needed a release. 

‘Seven cuts, seven cuts, seven cuts’ the words just cycling in his head he was desperate now. Fumbling with his slouched back pack he frantically searched the crowded pocket and found what he had been looking for, the razor blade. He clutched it tightly and felt the sting that accompanied the grasp; he must’ve nicked himself with it but he didn’t care. Seven.

He lifted the edge of his pant leg – exposing such clear skin in the process. He dragged the blade across clear skin. He felt the sting that followed doing this to a new location. The first slit was jagged, uneven and sloppy but upon his third cuts he got used to it and heard the ringing start to disappear. With the fourth cut the ringing was as good as gone but he still continued. He felt the crimson blood trickle down his skin – it’s color washed out by the night. 

He reached his sixth when he heard a distant shuffling and shouts coming from the right of him. But he didn’t stop. He just muffled the voice, despite its urgency. One more…

Suddenly he felt his arm containing the weapon being yanked away from his shin and felt the blade being torn from his hand and thrown somewhere in the snow. He felt so numb. So empty. He didn’t finish his last one.

“TWEEK WHAT THE HELL?!” He recognized the nasally voice immediately but didn’t have the heart to respond. He just felt shaky fingers brush his freshly cut skin and he saw Craig’s frantic expression. He had never seen the boy so animated. He just continued sobbing and the boy just wrapped his arms tight around the blonde and he immediately clung to the fabric of his thick jacket. His tears were just filling the fibers of the blue threads. He didn’t care about the dampness now forming on his chest. Tweek needed this so he just hugged him tighter. He peeked over the boy looking at his leg again. He must be in so much pain; both physically and mentally. He had no idea and was starting to feel the guilt form in his stomach that he made Tweek do this to himself. He was here now and he was going to help Tweek no matter what.

Tweek just clung to the taller figure like a leech and didn’t let go, subconsciously afraid of his comfort disappearing if he let go. This felt so… right. For some reason Craig being there with him- no, for him made him feel wanted and cared for, a feeling that was now rare for the blonde. 

The black-haired teen started to feel tears form but he needed to be a strong support for the blonde. 

“T…Tweek is this why you can’t stop drawing on yourself… because people… will see them?”

The sobbing blonde didn’t say anything but just nodded against his chest. Craig pulled away but had his hands firmly planted on Tweek’s shoulders. He examined his face and saw the few smeared tears shine slightly because of the large moon hung in the sky. It pained him. With a careful hand he reached for his left arm. He didn’t protest and just let him examine his arm. He didn’t see the drawings that well but he did see a few darker splotches on his arm. He rolled back the sleeve even further and ran a gentle finger along the covered area and felt the ridges that met his finger tip as he glided it across the pale flesh. The feeling just hurt him feeling them was bad enough but he was afraid of the sight he would be met with if he saw them. It would be devastating. 

“Tweek can you walk?” The blonde attempted to get up and he was fine but just felt the stinging of the cuts. He was fine, if not for a little limp. 

“Screw it I’m carrying you.”

“What?” Before he could protest he was lifted from his feet and held close to Craig’s chest. He was surprisingly light weight and wasn’t that hard to carry. Tweek looked up at the boy and a slight angered expression started to cross his face as well as that flutter again.

“C-Craig I’m not a girl!”

“I don’t care.”

“M-My backpack!”

“Don’t care.” He would get it later.

“Bu-!” 

“Shh.” Tweek just decided to let Craig have his way. He just hoped nobody stole his stuff. 

Craig took long strides and the blonde realized that Craig was taking him to his house.

“Are your parents’ home?”

“N-no but I have a key.”

Craig set him down at his front door step and he fished the key from his pocket and opened the door. Tweek walked over to the kitchen table and sat at one of the chairs.

“Do you have band aids?”

“Upstairs in the bathroom, under the sink.”

He wasted no time running up the stairs and to the bathroom. All the houses had almost identical layouts so he didn’t have trouble finding the bathroom and he found a bag full of antibacterial ointments and plenty of band aids. He wondered if Tweek used a lot. He ran back downstairs and set the bag on the table and then he wet a paper towel to start cleaning the wounds. Tweek didn’t protest. After a few minutes the wounds were finally covered band aids and he couldn’t tell if he felt better or worse. He just felt kind of empty but the wounds felt better but still hurt slightly. They weren’t that deep, but in their place he just felt dread in its place. 

“I’m staying here tonight.”

“Craig…”

“I’m staying here.” He didn’t argue anymore and he didn’t blame him either. He was already completely exposed to Craig so he didn’t even bother denying that he was fine because the truth was that he wasn’t ok. 

He saw Craig pull out his phone and start texting someone. He assumed it was his mom informing her that he wasn’t coming home. There was no changing his mind. Tweek felt so tired and he wanted nothing more than to sleep so he started walking up to his room. Craig immediately followed. He knew Craig was eyeing him closely so he didn’t try to hurt himself. He never felt so… drained. He pulled off his sneakers without even untying them and he just climbed under the covers of his bed. His clothes could stay on he couldn’t care less. 

The room was quiet and he didn’t even notice. He just let the heavy weight of his eye lids drop and he started to sleep in no time. Craig climbed in bed beside Tweek. He just observed how his form breathed in the dark. He was definitely drained. Craig let out a sigh and but rubbed his face with his hands. What a long night. 

Curiosity fled over Craig and he decided to dig around Tweek’s room. The blond probably had more weapons in his room. Sure enough when he dug through his desk he saw two razor blades rested on top of various items in the drawer. It really just made the guilt sink even further and he picked them up. He saw a few specs of dried blood on the metal and decided to throw them away in the kitchen trash. He climbed back up the stairs and removed his shoes and climbed under the covers. He wasn’t going to leave Tweek. Then he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading. Comments and Kudos are really appreciated. Hope the chapter wasn't too much to handle. 1 more chapter to go!


	7. Lighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the night's previous events the two find a way to take it easy with some coffee at the blonde's very own coffee shop. Fluff ensues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek! last chapter enjoy :D

When Tweek woke up he just was completely engulfed in warmth. At first he thought it was from his covers but upon a few seconds of taking in the surroundings of his bedroom he recognized an abundance of heat by his side. When he turned his head he saw a comforting face of now one of his closest friends. He noticed how the opposing boy just looked to calm and peaceful in his sleep and he noticed how his hat must’ve slipped off during his sleep and revealed the messy clumps of his black strands. It made him smile seeing how relaxing the sight was. Then he started to realize that this was probably creepy. He tore his eyes away from the sleeping boy and just lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. He started moving his legs underneath the covers and the soreness started to take it’s place in his leg. He remembered the events of last night and cringed at his vulnerability. He knew that he was such a hassle to the other boy.

He really was starting to crave more of the cutting sensation. If he did it on his legs then no one would know, and Craig might think he stopped. Yeah just a few cuts.

Tweek pulled the covers off of his body – careful not to wake the sleeping noirette. He made his way to his desk and with each step he started to feel the mild sting of his skin beneath the band aids but continued his path to the drawer. When he opened it he scrounged around for the sharp objects but no matter how hard he looked they were gone. 

As he was rustling through the cluttered drawer he was unaware that all of the noise had woken Craig from his sleep and it didn’t take long for the black-haired boy to realize that Tweek was looking for the disposed razor blades. He felt somewhat accomplished that he took away the weapons the blonde frequently used on his poor skin. 

“Looking for something?” He asked, a smirk almost found it’s way on the lips of the boy.

“Gaah!” Tweek jumped when he heard the deep voice of the black-haired boy behind him and somehow he could detect that Craig knew about the whereabouts of the sharp tools just by the sound of his voice – their location hidden behind his words.

“Ack- um n-nothing!” 

“They’re not there Tweek.” So Craig did something with them, damn.

The standing blonde turned to face him and saw how Craig was determined to get him to stop this “habit” even though this occurred way too often and the several risks that followed the action would be considered an addiction – that’s how bad it had gotten and how much he depended on this obsession only further proved that point.

Craig had gotten up from the bed and walked over to the shorter boy. Tweek realized that Craig slept in the same clothing, but so did he. He reached over to examine the boy’s arms and Tweek then realized that most of the ink had faded making the slashes a lot more visible, but there was no point in hiding them now since Craig already knew. Suprisingly his knowing of Tweek’s secret just made the boy feel so much lighter. The secret he had been carrying for such a longtime was finally let known to someone he knew, someone he trusted, and someone who cared - which was saying a lot because the Tuckers haven’t been known to really care all that much about any given situation. 

He felt Craig’s gentle touch that glided along his skin and the contact made his cheeks heat up - for whatever reason he found it kind of soothing. He didn’t know if it was how new the contact felt or if it was because Craig was the one responsible.

As the taller boy was closely examining the other’s skin and feeling all of the apparent horizontal lines, Tweek glanced over at the alarm clock that sat on his bedside table and how it so prominently read ‘4:52 AM’ in bright bold letters and he saw how the blue sky was darker and toned with a more grey appearance and how the sun didn’t even peek over the roofs of the opposing houses outside his window.

“Craig we still need t-to get my backpack.” 

He just chuckled in response and replied with an ‘okay’.

Soon Tweek decided that being in the same clothes was gross so instead of attempting to button up one of his green shirts he just wore a light green sweater he forgot he had. He changed the pants he was wearing for ones that were several shades darker and he realized that Craig was still in the same clothes.

“Aren’t you going to change into new clothes?” Immediately realizing the stupidity of his question – since he couldn’t change into spare clothes he didn’t have.

“I-I mean I c-can offer you some!” He was barely getting through his sentences but Craig didn’t seem to mind.

“Okay.”

Tweek dug around his closet to find clothes that would fit the taller boy. He found an oversized NASA t-shirt he never wore, and due to the cuts short sleeves were out of any potential outfits and he just dug out some longer jeans that didn’t fit his shorter legs. 

“I-is this okay?” He said as he held out the clump of fabric towards the other boy. 

“Sure.”

Craig walked outside of Tweek’s bedroom and went to the hallway bathroom to change. In the meantime Tweek fell back on his bed and stared at the ceiling and sighed. Too many thoughts raced around in his mind as he counted each spot on the ceiling. 

When he heard the sound of the doorknob turning he sat up and observed the boy now standing in the doorway. His dark blue jacket was unzipped revealing the white underneath and the jeans just complimented his long legs perfectly. The exact articles of clothing that Tweek could never pull off. Somehow Craig just looked so attractive. No, no he’s just a friend he can’t think that about him, besides it wasn’t exactly like he was showing off his looks to the blonde he just happened to appear rather eye-catching and seemed so fitting for the other. Craig held the dirty clothes in a tight wad under his arm and caught Tweek’s gaze and he couldn’t help but feel rather warm and fuzzy. Hmmm. 

“Do you have a plastic bag I can put these in?”

“Uhh- yeah, yeah.”

“Wait hold on you forgot something!” Tweek exclaimed. 

Craig was puzzled for a second and his confusion subsided when Tweek grabbed hold of the abandoned chullo hat that sat on his pillow and threw it at Craig.

He caught it and smiled down at the fabric, and shoved it on his head – now concealing his head of black hair. Tweek was kind of sad but he still saw the bangs that peeked from underneath the blue.

“Thanks.”

“So are we going?”

“Yeah.” 

They exited the house and walked down the street. Craig walking with the plastic bag in his hand looked kind of strange but he didn’t show any sign of insecurity. They decided to stop by Craig’s house so he could drop off his clothes and get his backpack for school and when he came back out they headed to Stark’s Pond.

The walk there was quiet, even though the silence wasn’t unusual in their relationship it just felt weirdly tense but because of last night’s events that was expected – and they both knew this, neither of them knowing how to address this quiet just seemed the most sensible option.

Upon seeing the frozen water they both saw the slouched bag sitting in the snow. Tweek rushed over and hoisted the bag over his shoulders and he was relieved that nothing bad had happened to his belongings. Nobody really visited Stark’s Pond that often anyway.

Tweek shivered as parts of the bag were freezing and damp as it touched his bare fingers.

“C-Craig it’s cold!”

He just shrugged in response and secretly observed the thick snow around them and to his relief he didn’t spot the disposed razor blade anywhere. 

“Gack! It’s cold let’s go!”

“Go where? School doesn’t start in a couple hours Tweek.” He questioned.

“I have access to a coffee shop Craig, t-that’s where we’re going.”

Craig didn’t know why he was even slightly surprised that Tweek was going to need a coffee today and just followed him.

They went to the back door of the shop and the blonde dug around his backpack pockets to find the key to the café.

“Heh Heh… it’s funny how I always have keys to the coffee shop but rarely keys to my own house.”

Behind the chuckling Craig could sense the sadness in his voice and that kind of concerned him but he didn’t let it show. 

After a couple of pulls and shakes of the keys he finally managed to open the door, but not after a string of distressed grunts and trembling. Craig smiled at his friend’s struggling.

“Shit.” The blonde cursed under his breathe.

“What?” the noirette questioned as they walked from the back of the shop towards the front.

“What if my parents kill me because I didn’t work while they were away? GAH! THEY NEVER TOLD ME TO!”

Craig sighed. He also realized it had been a while since he heard one of the blondes impossible conspiracy theories and it warmed his heart that Tweek was returning back to his old paranoid self. He preferred that Tweek any day over the Tweek he saw last night.

“Tweek if they didn’t tell you to work then you didn’t have to.”

The blonde just grunted in response. He didn’t quite believe him. The coffee shop was the only thing bringing in money and Tweek hadn’t worked in it over the course of his parent’s “trips” – whatever the hell they did while they were away.

When they made it to the counter Tweek set his backpack on the counter and Craig did the same while the other turned to flip the lights on. He turned back to make sure the blinds were tightly closed and the sign was flipped to let any possible customers know the business was not open. Then he retreated to the back to make himself a coffee.

“GAH! Craig did you w-want a coffee?”

“Okay. The one you made last time was good.”

“-KAY!” He shouted from the back as Craig took a seat at one of the stools that were positioned near the cash register. The blonde smirked from the back – noting that his friend thought the coffee was ‘good’ and made him feel kind of giddy, whatever. 

He started Craig’s first and then made his. He really missed the familiar aroma of the coffee beans. Coffee just had this comforting way of making him feel at home - whatever home that was. He never really felt welcomed at home, maybe because of his absent parents or if those were just the thoughts in his head and that was probably a big contributor to the cutting in the first place. The thing was the cutting was less of a painful act upon himself because he hated himself. It was mainly an action that was therapeutic and offered some sickening way of an escape for him; some escape that was since it just trapped him further. Tweek himself couldn’t even decipher why it felt good to him in the first place – his reasoning always shifted and it mostly just depended on the days. 

When he finished the steaming cups he handed Craig his and was already taking big gulps out of the large cup he had brewed for himself.

“I don’t have to pay for this do I?”

“W-what? No you have already paid me in other ways.”

Craig smirked from the behind the lid of his coffee.

“Hmm? How so?”

“ACK! Well last night f-for starters and every other time Craig – nobody else has really done that for me.”

The blonde on the opposite side of the counter was leaning to his side and looking away from the sitting boy across from him.

“Tweek you don’t have to thank me.”

“I like being there for you… so don’t feel like it’s a burden for me because it’s not.”

Tweek felt the head spread across his cheeks as he lowly sipped his coffee.

Even though the majority of his face was turned away from him he saw the hint of blush creep across the blonde’s cheeks and soon he felt the same heat start to fill his cheeks too. 

“I- I want to help you Tweek.” Wow Craig Tucker stuttering, that’s new.

“I- I feel like I shouldn’t believe that.” The blonde trailed off.

“Why?”

“B-Because it’s me, Craig and you’re you! You never care about anything and I’m the exact opposite.”

“Tweek I care about you. I care about you a lot and you mean a lot to me, so you shouldn’t think of yourself of anything less.”

The blonde smiled meekly at this and tried to distract his heart from fluttering out of his ribcage by taking long gulps of his steaming cup of coffee. Somehow Craig’s comments seemed genuine and heartfelt. A kindness that was just so unfamiliar to the unconfident blonde and the foreign sensation just tinted his cheeks even more. Craig surely noticed.

The next few minutes were just the two of them basking in the comfortable silence between them and it was then that Tweek realized how the silence almost bonded the two together, like between them they could share so many ideas without saying a word and that just further developed their newfound friendship.

“That really means a lot.” The sentence was quiet and meek and if Craig wasn’t listening closely he probably wouldn’t have heard it, he also noted how the sentence was uninterrupted since he said it without any stutters or tics. It made Craig feel warm inside.

Craig was staring down at the black plastic lid to his coffee cup – purposefully avoiding his friends gaze. He just felt so giddy unlike any feeling he had felt before and that just increased the urge to not look at the blonde. Did he like Tweek, more than a friend maybe? The thought dawned on him and the pieces just seemed to fit together like a puzzle and everything just seemed to make more sense. He never really thought he could like someone such as Tweek but here he was merely blushing in the jittery boy’s presence. His blush was spreading like wildfire over his heated cheeks and he looked down as far as possible. Did Tweek see this? Hopefully not.

To his unknown dismay Tweek did noticed the noirette’s flustered behavior and Tweek questioned why the atmosphere surrounding the two of them just felt so safe and comforting. He started realizing the close proximity between them and how his hand was only a few inches from Craig’s. Was it weird he just wanted to hold his hand? Probably. He really shouldn’t think like this. Craig couldn’t possibly like this mess of a person – right? No. He didn’t deserve someone like Craig. No matter the amount of times Craig would disagree that thought would never change. Maybe he didn’t deserve him but he needed him. He needed the oh so comforting presence of Craig Tucker. The only person to give a damn about his existence and dammit he showed his overflowing concern for the coffee-addict last night. That had to mean something. 

So with much thought and hesitation Tweek took a shaking hand and reached for the Tucker’s hand grasping the outside of his coffee cup. When their skin made contact Craig swiftly brought his head to look at the sudden conection and saw the spindly pale fingers touching his own – their tint being slightly lighter than his own nad he realized that the blonde was desperate for a handhold. 

When Tweek was counting the seconds going by he felt the urge to stop touching him but before he could pull away Craig firmly held his hand. The heat between their fingers was immense but pleasant and brought Tweek a sense of ease and calmness while he just stared off into the distance, counting all of the dents on one of the shop’s walls. 

“Tweek.” The blonde heard his name softly being spoken – as not to startle him he glanced over and looked at the boy across from him. His eyes were so soft – compared to their usual scowl and it was such an unusual look for Craig, but it didn’t look completely unnatural. With unspoken words between the two and with a silent but definite consent Craig began to slowly close the gap between the two and Tweek soon followed meeting in the middle. When their lips made contact everything just seemed to fit into place. All problems seemed to be washed away as they simply relished in the pleasant contact. The kiss itself was sweet and gentle. When their lips connected they didn’t move but soon began to move against each other. It was chaste and void of any erotic intensions. This kiss was just one to be cherished and although it wasn’t much they both enjoyed it more than anything. 

When they pulled apart their eyes fluttered open to see each other’s faces and both of them seeing how flushed they both were. Tweek was the first to break the silence with a giggle.

“T-that was nice.” He saw the faint smile on his friend’s face and mirrored him, the comment surprising him slightly upon seeing such a real blissful expression on the blonde’s face, such a rare expression being plastered and shown so brightly just made Craig sooo happy.

“Yeah it was…” He replied.

He didn’t know where this would lead their relationship but wherever it was bound to go he would most certainly follow and hopefully Tweek would too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story it means a lot to me. Probably more Creek fics in the future + more ships maybe along with other fandoms. I had a struggle ending this but I hope you guys liked it and I hope it wasn't too cheesy or cliche. :)
> 
> p.s sry clyde and token weren't in this fic they were only mentioned since this story took a completely different turn than what I had planned so sorry if that was disappointing to some of you i'm probably gonna remove them from the tags.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, comments and kudos are much appreciated. I don't want to hold myself to an updating schedule but I will try my best to update as soon as I can.


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